Victim OR Victor… Which one are you?

When we have a victim mentally we are not able to change behaviors or move forward in our lives. People who struggle with the victim mentality are convinced that life is not only beyond their control, but is out to deliberately hurt them. This type of thinking can not only have psychological effects, it can also manifest itself into having physical effects.

So how do we develop a victor mentality?

STOP BLAMING OTHERS: Blaming others may provide temporary thoughts, but in time it will lead to feelings of powerlessness. Take accountability for your role in the situation, even if it is just how you react.

RESIST SELF-SABOTAGE: Control is the root of our self-sabotaging behavior. Who or What are you giving your power away to? The sense that disaster is always in your future.  This requires your participation. Give up the need to control and enjoy all the blessings that are before you.

FORGIVE and LET GO: With the victim mentality you will hold onto bitterness and anger from past hurts. We resist forgiving others because you may feel it is weakness or excusing the wrong. It is not those things. It doesn’t require apology or retaliation, because forgiveness is all about you. It is about finding the inner strength to move beyond the pain in order to find inner peace and freedom.

BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE: If you are feeling like a victim, you may struggle with low self-confidence. Self-confident people are not born that way, instead they are made. Self-confidence can be taught and improved upon in any person. Act confident, dress well, hold an upright posture, speak clearly and make eye contact. Soon your confident actions will develop within.

There is no doubt that bad things happen to good people. The key to not having a victim mentality is to adopt the mentality of a survivor.

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